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A use for biotech no one ever foresaw: BT junkmail...

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It that must no... It that must not be named's picture
A use for biotech no one ever foresaw: BT junkmail...
Lots of creative, intelligent people, including some damn good SF writers, have forseen all sorts of uses for biotech. Well, a while ago I got a piece of biotech that I'd bet no one ever saw coming: Biotech junkmail. Think I'm kidding? Think again! A while back I got a piece of mail from (ugh) earthlink trying to sucker me into coming back because I'd dropped them like a load long ago for some damn good reasons. The mail contained a sheet of slightly thick card with little bumps in it, and instructions to tear it up and bury it a few inches in the ground if I wanted some flowers. Yep, apparently they'd shelled some flower seeds without rendering the seeds themselves inviable, then sealed them between a couple sheets of paper, possibly treated with some type of water activated plant food. (Or maybe not.) Well, I don't like earthlink, but it felt a little odd to have these potential living things handed to me, and what the hell? The flower seeds had never done me any wrong so despite not wanting to touch earthlink with someone else's hands I followed the instructions on the sheet and planted it. A few pinkish flowers with yellow cores eventually sprouted. OK, high tech, cutting edge genetic engineering? No. A crude, low tech form of biotech? I'd say so. Ergo, biotech junk mail. Who saw that one coming? The possibilities of biotech mail...let's think a minute. Maybe we get "garden in an envelope" that has a folded up sheet of various seeds, possibly engineered in some way. Unfold the sheet, tear put the pictures of the flowers you want, dig holes with a table spoon and pretty soon you've got flowers coming up. The flowers might be genetically engineered with a 'terminator gene" to limit their growth, so if you want a full bush and not just one single blooming stalk send 19.95 to... Then, of course, there are other uses. You get a letter from the UPOA, United potheads of Americe that goes like "Yo, dude! Check out this picture of a killer weed! Want to have a real one like it? Man, just take the picture, and like put it in a flower pot with some like dirt, and like water it like every couple days and keep it where it, like, gets some light every day and in like a couple months you'll have a real live plant just like this one. It grows killer buds, man! Ya gotta try it!" Of course there's a nasty side here, like some nefarious cretin engineering a plant that produces toxic pollen or something like that and disguising it as an innocent "Plant this lovely picture to beautify your neighborhood." mass mailing. A lot of plot nideas here, from a little piece of biotech junk mail.

"I learned the hard way that if you take a stand on any issue, no matter how insignificant, people will line up around the block to kick your ass over it." -Jesse "the mind" Ventura.

It that must no... It that must not be named's picture
Oh, as a followup to this
Oh, as a followup to this idea, I just thought, as I entered the last message, you could have a sheet with just a few seeds on a cluster in the middle, and the rest of the sheet being laced with growth promoters like plant food. The idea here is to wad up the ahole sheet into a ball and plant that, then water it. Upon contacting water the sheet would turn into a mush of fertilizer and nutrients that would maximize the seed's chances or succeeding.

"I learned the hard way that if you take a stand on any issue, no matter how insignificant, people will line up around the block to kick your ass over it." -Jesse "the mind" Ventura.

GregH GregH's picture
Interesting idea... imagine
Interesting idea... imagine finding one of those spooky formerly inhabited worlds and all that's left is a rugged lifeform that turns out to be some sort of biological equivalent of "the Swoosh". I remember GMing once a Bablyon 5 game where the characters through several adventures were trying to gather information on an ancient transmission, racing several villians to piece together what was believed to be some sort of weapon alongside the oft-ignored NPC who kept muttering in the background how we had no real references, what appeal to the alien may not be the same to us, etc. In the end the alien message turns out to be the equivalent of an ad for a Pepto-Bismol like project, the main villian screams something like "Great Maker! Why! WHY!!!" and tosses himself out of a building while everyone else is laughing their asses off. I gotta dust that idea off and try it as biojunkmail! This would also be a good time to re-read "Ribopunk" by De Filippo, that had all sorts of oddball bio-thingies from the hilarious meeting of two sentient sex toys of opposite genders ("they're locked together in an inescapable loop!") to a guy with a disease that when he's under stress makes his thought patterns organize like a rap.
It that must no... It that must not be named's picture
In a SF setting with multple
In a SF setting with multple planets there's an interesting possibility here: What if an accident causes a serious problem with this sort of thing. Just an accident, no real harm meant. Attend: A shipment of biotech junkmail is intended for the planet Octavius, but instead gets shipped to the planet Octavia and distributed by the local branch of the company. Thousands of people plant the junk mail seeds and create thousands of Spican Bloodroses. Within weeks, the majority of Bluebees, a native creature on Octavia that pollinates a lot of vital crops, are dead due to severe allergic reactions to the bloodrose pollen. Eco disaster, due to a crate of junk mail being shipped to the wrong planet...

"I learned the hard way that if you take a stand on any issue, no matter how insignificant, people will line up around the block to kick your ass over it." -Jesse "the mind" Ventura.

GregH GregH's picture
Sounds tasty... another
Sounds tasty... another possibility is practical biological products that someone made then left behind, they go their own way and someone stumbles across them (and unintended side effects) ages later. The standard for this came from Larry Niven in his "Known Space" series. Two races, the Thrint and the Tnuctipun exist billions of years ago, the Thrint rule over the Tnuctipun and many other species and the Tnuctipun are used to create all sorts of cool biotech products. Of note are Stage Trees (trees that are naturally grown rockets with propellent in their cores) Sunflowers (metalized petals direct sunlight with nasty results) and Bandersnatch (big BIG slug-like critters that don't do mutation and eat anything). The craftier Tnuctipun however have secretly wired their creations to aid in destroying the Thrint... with defeat looming though the Thrint activate a Telepathic Doomsday Device and everything that can do so cuts it's wrists or whatever it has. Ages pass, then there is this one story where some unsuspecting space pirates want to start a fire against the cold and so they start it around the base of this funny-looking, very straight, tree... (http://www.freewebs.com/knownspace/StageTreeSml.jpg) "sigh" Some folks just don't make an effort to clean up their mess...
It that must no... It that must not be named's picture
Yeah, the idea thatr what
Yeah, the idea thatr what amounted to a piece of junk mail from an ancient advanced civilization could have a huge effect on a developing civilization like transhumanity is all too plausible, and kind of amusing. Imagine: Someone finds an ancient text that has an incredible amount of information that could unbalance the whole of earth based society and technology, everyone assumes they found some great cache of advanced technical and scientific data. Turns out to be the equivelant of a first grade primer on science for kids.

"I learned the hard way that if you take a stand on any issue, no matter how insignificant, people will line up around the block to kick your ass over it." -Jesse "the mind" Ventura.

The Doctor The Doctor's picture
Why not?
For a race far more advanced than the one that found it, maybe it is. Even the Vorlons had to crawl before they could walk.
HardSix HardSix's picture
Or...
...we finally decode the Voynich Manuscript and discover it's actually rule book for an alien RPG. :)
puke puke's picture
reminds me of
Grabula Grabula's picture
Re: A use for biotech no one ever foresaw: BT junkmail...
lol, I got this picture in my head of a just add water type letter that insta-grows into a gorilla that corners me and threatens to throttle me unless I send the company some money immediately.
Mifune Mifune's picture
Re: A use for biotech no one ever foresaw: BT junkmail...
Grow your own gorilla? Anyways, this conversation reminds me of an idea I had for a Star Trek fanfic; Basically the Enterprise D find this "primitive" planet that's in the middle ages type era. The most advance piece of technology they observe is a pulley system for moving large stone bricks for castles, bridge, etc. However, the science officer also notices a very powerful energy reading coming from somewhere on the planet. So an away team forms to investigate. The team dresses up in these archaic clothes to try and fit in and beam down somewhere non-conspicuous. The get there and greet the locals as travelers in a village near where the readings are coming from. The village leader comes out and greets them and proclaims, "You're not from around here." The leader of the away team says, "No, we're travelers from the east." The village leader replies, "No, I mean you're not from this planet. You aren't connected." Turns out that the entire populace of the planet (both sentient and nonsentient) have biotech augmentations which among other things create a telepathic network among the sentient. The only piece of hardware technology they have besides the pulley system -they live a very simple life after realizing how much stuff they don't actually need- is a machine that creates spacetime rifts allowing travel to other planets. BTW; the telepathic network is their version of the internet. They even have games which are often times played in one's dreams.
[center]"Hack the Body, and the Mind Will Follow."[/center][right][b]-Sheldon Surina[/b] (Jump 225 Trilogy by David Louis Edelman)[/right]
Arenamontanus Arenamontanus's picture
Re: A use for biotech no one ever foresaw: BT junkmail...
Some people like to draw graffiti on walls; others make butterflies and beetles with their tags on. Scum barges have lots of little nooks and crannies where moulds and other unwanted ecosystem provide breeding spaces for interesting pests, so why not make sure the pests at least show the local gang colours or ads for your rep network? "Look, the first extropian betterfly of the orbit!" In the inner system corporate logos are more common - which can become problematic when somebody messes with their pheromones to cause embarrassing behaviour. "Who the *&^&£ has made the Logoflies attracted to the CEO?! Have you seen her office? It is a disaster!" Ah, biotech pranks! Seeding moss that grows into embarassing pictures. Designer infections that produce tattoos. Flavored throat bacteria. Blogging dust mites.
Extropian
annasiegfried annasiegfried's picture
HI
I don't think those seeds need to be in an environment as you have described.Seeds can be treated against deseases and viruses as you keep them until you plant them.You need to plant healthy seeds because if you don;t you might just infest your soil.Roses