Sorry about the double post but I think it is easier to keep track of then me editing posts. For the zero cost small and large traits please consider decreasing the SOM max by ten and increasing it by ten. Respectively for those traits. This way the current small morphs with the -10 to SOM (Neotenic, Neo Avian and Dragonfly to name a few) are from size rather then unique design features.

"Each week the character goes without meaningful communication with the NPC for a week, they suffer 1 point of stress." You mention the week duration twice.

on page 2 under Bonobo Uplift Disadvantages Addiction: Sex (Minor) should probably be the new Mating Urge trait. on page 16 under Personal COnnection it says: "The gamemaster may use this trait as often as they wish, but the gamemaster may rule that is simply not available in certain settlements" The first instance of gamemaster needs to be player. Also on p13 Potent Mind seems like it should be a 5CP cost, as it is kind of like a slight for a slight. page 26 Under Large Size The Q-morph should be listed as one of the large morphs On page 41 Under Autonomist life style I highly recommend that either more time be required for people with high rep scores (as they will have more "luxury") or that the individual perform a task that they have very high skills to support. For Example Dr Mindfuck in the Stars our Destination Scum Swarm has a high @-rep because he's a bit famous and gives out favours all the time. However if after a steller self inflicted mindbender he decided to work in sanitation he would have to work a ton of hours to maintain his life style and the respect/esteem of his peers. On page 43 Under Simplifying Networking Why not have an optional rule that allows the 2nd tier networks to be skill optional. By second Tier I mean i-rep, x-rep and u-rep for those networks individuals can use the Networking field skill that is dominant in the area that they are located. So that someone with x-rep on Mars could use their Networking: Hypercorps skill to use that rep. Because most of the x-rep users on Mars have Networking: Hypercorps as a skill. There is of course still incentive to develop the Field skills specific to those networks because it benefits people who move around a lot but at the same time it gives an easy mechanic fro new networks to be added to the game and it lets PCs who receive rep rewards that they don't have the skill for to benefit.

On page 2, the larger paragraph under new backgrounds gives info that discerns the difference between the Uplift background from the original book, and the new backgrounds given in Transhuman. You should probably make a similar discernation between the Infolife background from the original book, and the AGI backgrounds present in this one. [sup]Now might also be a good time to address the unbalance in the original Infolife background with some errata. I'm just sayin'.[/sup] On page 42, the currying rep example does not match up with the rules. The rules stipulate that you gain 1 point of rep on success, with a +1 for every 30 points above that. The example given grants +5 for a roll of 65... the equivalent of +1 at MoS of 30, and an additional +1 for every 10 after that. Either the example roll or the wording for bonus rep on currying needs to be changed.

Before this goes into final print, make sure that you go through all the Backgrounds and Factions and add 'skill' to the end of skills, and 'trait' to the end of traits. I will list them, but it will be a long list and I might miss some. [u]Background Errata[/u] Ape Uplift, Advantages, The flavour text for this background makes it sound like they should have the Domineering negative trait from later in this chapter. Perhaps you could increase their Unarmed Combat bonus to +20 to offset the 10CP bonus this would give them? Ape Uplift, Disadvantages, Social Stigma (Uplift) needs 'trait' added. Corvid Uplift, Advantages, 'Scrounge' skill should be 'Scrounging' Corvid Uplift, Common Morphs, You might want to add the Ripwing Emergent AGI Uplift, Advantages, '+20 Infosec' needs 'skill' added Humanities Infolife, Advantages,'+10 Kinesics' needs 'skill' added Humanities Infolife, Advantages, '+10 Research' needs 'skill' added Indenture, Advantages, '+20 to one Profession skill' should be 'Profession: [Field]' Machine Infolife, Advantages, '+10 Infosec' needs 'skill' added Machine Infolife, Advantages, '+20 Programming' needs 'skill' added Machine Infolife, Advantages, Machine Intuition needs 'trait' added Machine Infolife, Disadvantages, Poorly Socialized needs 'trait' added Machine Infolife, Disadvantages, Social Stigma (AGI) needs 'trait' added Neanderthal Uplift, Advantages, '+20 Art: Music' needs 'skill' added Neanderthal Uplift, Advantages, '+10 Freerunning' needs 'skill' added Neanderthal Uplift, Disadvantages, Social Stigma (Uplift) needs 'trait' added Octopus Uplift, Common Morphs, You might want to add the Flying Squid Pig Uplift, Advantages, All of the skills need 'skill added. Not going to list them individually Pig Uplift, Disadvantages, Impaired Balance (Level 1) needs 'trait' added. If following precedent from Factions, 'trait' should be between '(Level 1)' and '(p. 145, Panopticon)'. Research Infolife, Advantages, '+30 Research' needs 'skill' added Research Infolife, Disadvantages, Social Stigma (AGI) needs 'trait' added [u]Faction Errata[/u] Belter, Advantages, '+10 Free Fall' needs 'skill' added Europan, Advantages, '+10 Pilot: Submarine' needs 'skill' added Exhuman, Advantages, 'Exotic Melee' should, perhaps, have ':[Field]' added. This is arguable though, as you could consider the ':[Field]' on the 'Ranged Weapon' section immediately following to fill that roll. Exhuman, Advantages, '+10 Fray' needs 'skill' added Exhuman, Advantages, '+10 Unarmed Combat' needs 'skill' added Orbital, Advantages, '+10 Free Fall' needs 'skill' added Out'ster, Advantages, All of the skills need 'skill' added. Again, not going to list them all. Reclaimer, Advantages, '+20 Networking: Ecologists' needs 'skill' added

Quote:

Things I Want To See Addressed [snip]

I disagree. All Neo-Pigs don't have impaired balance, but Neo-Pigs that exemplify being a Neo-Pig such that it is their background do. I can still make a Neo-Pig character without impaired balance, I just take a different background. Similarly, I can make an uplifted Bonobo and not be addicted to sex, I just don't exemplify newly uplifted Bonobos, so I don't take the background. Backgrounds are supposed to be suggestions, not hard set rulings on what all individuals who could use it have as skills or traits.

About the exhuman background Instead of a +10 to one exotic attack skill and a +10 to unarmed why not give them a +10 to two combat skills and let the player choose. As posthumans should be all over the place.

I'm still kind of torn about Potent Mind being a fix to Psychic Stab. On one hand, Psychic Stab needs all the help it can get. On the other hand, I don't think making the player spend 15 points total to finally get a useful direct combat sleight is the right answer. I think the base ability's damage should be increased by 1d10. This ability should be either one of two things: [list=1][*]An additional 1d10 damage to any damage-causing psi-assault sleights. [*]The ability to tack on 1d10 psi damage to any psi assault sleight (including Psychic Stab).[/list] This would make Psychic Stab a decent weaponized sleight by itself, on par with the vibroblade with the added bonus of armor pierce. This might seem a bit overpowered, but considering the numerous drawbacks that Psychic Stab has it is only a moderately impressive ability. Which it should be. Furthermore, Potent Mind suddenly becomes a trait that becomes useful regardless of whether you use Psychic Stab at all. Option 1 opens the door to more damage-dealing sleights, while option 2 makes the entire psi-assault sleight set a more effective set of weaponized abilities.

CodeBreaker wrote:

Unfortunately I don't think that this is something that will be fixed with a trait. Quite a few of the Psi-Gamma sleights seem inherently wiffy, perhaps purposefully. I honestly think that a complete rewrite of the Psi-Gamma rules would be required to make them 'click' for me (Psi-Chi is awesome though).

I don't think that's necessary. The biggest problem right now is that activated psi abilities cost durability to use... and because of this, abilities have to be justified by the activation cost. If Psi had no inherent cost, or if it used something less vital than durability, we probably wouldn't be having this discussion. I've heard of some decent fixes for the concept. Beyond the typical "use stress alongside durability", or "insert sleight that creates mana pool", I've also had one suggestion for a sleight that distributes cost evenly to all people in contact (including the target, player's choice, no one can receive more than one more strain than everyone else). This actually does mitigate much of the costs for sleights, and to some degree weaponizes strain. I'm thinking of playtesting it when I get the chance.

RobBoyle wrote:

DivineWrath wrote:

The hardening trait causes problems. From what I understand, in the core rulebook, you could get hardened to a source of stress without the trait. All it costed you was for your maximum moxie be reduced by one. Now, this trait adds 10 cp or rez points to the cost of becoming hardened to stress. Is this a revision?

No, it's an addition. It's a way of starting off gameplay with some hardening -- something several players have asked for. You can still get hardened to stress the usual way (which would effectively apply this trait). I'll make that more clear.

Perhaps you should split this trait into 2 parts. The first part is supposed the trait you can get after character creation. This should be a neutral trait. The second trait is essentially the trait we are discussing. The neutral version could cover all the details regarding becoming hardened, and the positive trait merely references the trait or something. As for text, it could go something like this. Pre-game Hardening [cost 10 cp] Available during character creation only. This character has had repeated exposure to stressful situations in the past (before the campaign starts). This has lead to the character becoming hardened to a source of stress (see p. 214-215 in the Eclipse Phase core rulebook). If the character is hardened to multiple sources of stress, it needs to take this trait multiple times.

OK, I am awake now, and hopefully more capable of writing coherent sentences. So I like the new clarifications on Speed. It was a part of the game that I think was underdeveloped/causing people issues, and I really appreciate that the developers seem to have responded to that 'Rules Issues' thread in the General Discussion section (seriously, I didn't actually expect that to do anything, props to you guys if that is what prompted this section). So a few questions that I think could do with a sentence or two to get ahead of the potential complains. As above, are task action time scale reductions calculated additively or multiplicatively? This is an important point to make, and both have their advantages. If it is all calculated additively then it is very easy to do at the table, just add up the percentages and then take away. It does, however, lead to edge cases where you can fairly easily get up to -100% time reduction. You can already do it with hacking, even without these new methods for time reduction. Multiplicatively bypasses this issue, but it can be a real bitch to calculate the exact time scale when you begin racking up reductions from multiple sources. Personally, my suggestion is additively, with the caveat that no task action can ever be reduced below a certain time scale (90% reduction, or 1 Action Turn). When you use additional mental actions to reduce the time scale of a task action, do you have to actually spend those mental actions to do so, or is that just an inherent property of thinking fast? I think I know what the intention is (you spend them, you get the reduction), but this isn't clear from the text. This is an important distinction to make, because you then introduce the ability to perform multiple task actions at once (more on that below) by using your additional mental actions. And example of where this might crop up: I am a hacker, and I have an augmentation that gives me an additional two mental actions. I have Speed 1. I want to hack three separate systems at once. Do I get any time reduction for each of those hacks because I have multiple actions? Or, because I am spending each mental action on a separate task action, do I lose the time reduction? Basically just clarify that to get the time reduction from additional mental actions, those mental actions actually have to be dedicated and spent on that task action. And dovetailing from the above, what happens to task actions when I have a speed higher than 1? Continuing from the above example, say I now have Speed 2. I want to hack those three systems. Do I need to spend all my actions on both of my action phases to keep the task action progressing, or do I only need to spend one action every action turn? Do task actions need to be sustained through action phases by the spending a complex action on them? What if I don't? Do I get any progress at all towards completing that task action? Do I simply lose the additional action phases granted by speed if I am performing a task action? If so, what happens if I start a task action on my second or third action phase?

RobBoyle wrote:

Already says:"No timeframe can be reduced lower than 25% of its base by Speed and mental actions alone."

Right, but what happens when you combine that with Rushing the Job, or you have an MoS higher than 30? Or something like the Instinct sleight? You now have a time reduction of 100%+. What happens in those cases? Does the Task Action only take a single complex action (basically just making it a normal skill action use)? Does it take the entire Action Turn because it is a Task Action, and those are special? Those are the occasions that I mean when I say that it can become an issue.

The rules for weightlifting are much too low. Take a look at the world records for Olympic weightlifting: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_world_records_in_Olympic_weightlifting The highest record there is 263 kg, by Hossein Rezazadeh in the 2004 Olympics. Even if we assume that he's got the Extraordinary Aptitude (SOM) trait, that's SOM 30 + DUR 30 = 120 kg, by these rules, which is much too short. I'd say that either that's the weight-per-arm, or make it (SOM+DUR+Appropriate Skill)x2. I'd also include a note in the traits section that, rarely, non-uplift characters might possess Uplift-specific traits, as a result of psychosurgery and/or genetic engineering; for instance, a "superpredator" Exhuman might have a bunch of predatory uplift traits, while a hedonistic Scum might decide to give herself a Mating Urge.

CodeBreaker wrote:

So I have a question about the AGI backgrounds. Is there a particular reason you are sticking on the 'AGI cannot take psi' thing? I don't understand why this has become a common disadvantage for AGI backgrounds. It doesn't seem to be fluff mandated. AGI can still be infected with Watts-McLeod, they can still be sleeved into biomorphs, they have been around in an exsurgent infected world as long as anyone else has. All it seems to be is a holdover from the Core AGI background. I don't mind that much, I can just write my own backgrounds, or buy off the Psi restriction with a GM determined CP cost. But it does seem to unnecessarily restrict a few potential character concepts that could exist without this blanket disadvantage.

I believe it is because of the presumption that they mostly stay in digital forms. Their starting morphs are usually synths or infomorphs. And Watts-Macleod seems to be an organic strain (if not, then it's certainly hostile to the minds of people who reside in digital form). That's just my take.

Page 32 includes "make due" which should be "make do". As others have noticed a bit too much text got copied from "Non-Mammalian Biochemistry" to "Non-Human Biochemistry" without getting the appropriate updates. I wonder if the modifiers for Alienation and Integration should be lower for non-human morphs than non-mammal morphs. Also I would've thought that Neanderthals were less or at most as alien as Remades. I wonder if the concerns about reducing timeframes can be dealt with by modifying "No timeframe can be reduced lower than 25% of its base by Speed and mental actions alone" to mention sleights and traits too.

CodeBreaker wrote:

My suggestion is to do one of two things. Halve the cost of Entrepreneur to bring it closer to straight buying the second reputation track (still a bit more expensive, but not prohibitively so). Or you give the reputation track gained via Entrepreneur additional mechanical tricks that can only be performed via the trait.

The latter should probably be the better choice. A hypercorp/microcorp should have a mechanical function beyond just being another reputation track, and arguably a day job. I'd be tempted to say it should be a whole subset of mechanics all to its own. One that can drive entire campaigns by itself. To be honest, I would much rather they dump this trait from this book, and wait until they actually publish a supplement on the Hypercorps. I would [i]love[/i] support for running a character-driven hypercorp, but I want it to be done right, not handled as simply a trait on a single page. Unless there are plans to add in an entire section on running a hypercorp in Transhuman, I'd put this trait on the backburner.

I know it has been a week, but I am still finding little things that might want to be looked at. I think that the list of morphs that have the Large Size trait (pg. 26 of this PDF) should include the Sundiver from Sunward, which has the Large disadvantage. Or it did in the version of Sunward I have, I don't think that that was changed with the reprint. The description used for the Ape background says that their antisocial tendencies have limited the number of their type that have been uplifted. This seems to run counter to apes like Chimps being the most common uplift. I don't quite see why apes, the most uplifted of all the species, would have difficulty finding others of their kind to socialize with. At least not such that it is notable for apes in particular. I kind of get the feeling that this background should be the one specifically for Gorillas. Emergent AGI Uplift, Description, “to make your friendly and conducive” should be “make you friendly”. Feral Uplift, Description, “By design or accident” doesn't sound right to me, for some reason. “By accident or design” seems to flow much better in my mind. This is more of a stylistic thing though, so feel free to ignore.

Gave it a quick ran through, will read more later but I found this typo on page 5: Yours is the least human uplifted species. Even more so than other uplifts, you think and live at one remove from transhuman norms. That should probably read you think and live at once removed That's still rather awkward, though, so if I could suggest a rewrite:

Quote:

Yours is the least human uplift species. Even more so than other uplifts, you live and think outside of transhuman norms.

Other than that, I like the new factions. Very well thought out and interesting.

Enlarged Size trait (p. 10) It refer about "Small trait" and "Large trait", but they should be "Small Size trait" and "Large Size trait", respectively. Hardening trait (p. 11) Is it possible to buy more number of it than maximum Moxie (1 max Moxie and 2 Hardening traits)? It isn't, because I can't pay maximum Moxie cost? Indenture Holder trait (p. 12) What is the difference it between Minion/Partner trait? Intuitive Cracker trait (p. 12) It reduces the timeframe, but how it works with other reducers (like rushing job, MoS, Speed and others). It might be broken, depending on the relation with them. Murder Simulator Addict (p. 12) It sounds like headshot Specialization. What is the difference? Minion/Partner trait (p. 13) In fifth sentence, "gaol" should be "goal". Personal Connection trait (p. 13) It sounds broken. If One Expensive (20,000 credit) item is discounted to High (5,000 credit), It is worth 15,000 credit (15 CP). And I can receive the discount more than once. I think it needs some restriction, like "it won't work at Expensive items". Skill Artifact trait (p. 14) It is cool, even if it save skill point a little. But is it possible to buy this trait more than once? If ii is, it is possible to buy 150 Active Skill or 200 Knowledge Skill with 50 CP. Trauma Tolerance trait (p. 15) I am cofusing about its effect. I interpret it negates trauma modefier but worsen derangement. If I am correct, it sounds like a nertral trait, not positive one. And how it works at "4 traumas and you have a disorder" rule? If a character with it is dealt 3 trauma, will they have a disorder after a few hours (2 + 1 x 2 = 4)? Untarnished Reputation trait (p. 15) Will it work at burning reputation (the corerule, p. 288)?

First of all a question: Is there a deadline for comments? I have A LOT of comments on this section but I am trying to get my next adventure out by the first, so I don't have time to type them up. Is July to late to post comments? Second, there is something so egregious I am going to take some time to post it now: [b]SPEED CLARIFICATIONS[/b] The section called Speed and Task Actions indirectly contradicts the main rulebook which assumes that Speed works only in combat. Examples: [b]Morphs:[/b] Compare the Menton, the Hyperbright, the Savent, etc. to the Fury. None of the thinky morphs have a SPD increase while the Fury does. Obviously SPD is useful in combat but not out of it, otherwise these morphs would have SPD 2 like the Fury (or everyone who wants to do thinky stuff would be sleeved in Infomorphs since dividing the timeframe by 3 and then taking the time to increase it by 3 effectively gives them a +60 bonus to their skills, which is much better than, for example, the +10 COG bonus from the menton). [b]Sample Characters:[/b] Look at all the sample characters. Notice how all the characters that have SPD 2+ (excepting the mercurial investigator) are combat characters not the doctors, technicians, hackers, and researchers. This wouldn't be true if SPD effected task actions. [b]Drugs:[/b] Compare the smart drugs to the combat drugs. Notice which one of those boost SPD (it's not the smart drugs). If speed effected task actions, Kick or MRDR would be the premier smart drug since they provide such a massive bonus to so much. In short, the new speed 'clarifications' contradict the established setting. If you must keep these, state that they are optional rules, and the base assumption is that SPD does not effect task actions. Also: You have the timeframe alteration from speed as division when the other timeframe alterations are done as plus or minus a percent. This leads to order of operation problems. Also when combined with the taking extra time rules it creates incredible bonuses to any task action that can be effected with speed. Additionally, from a game design perspective: SPD is already a powerful stat (you even have a section on the ways to nerf it). It doesn't need to be made more powerful. Note: that I have no problem with things that grant extra complex actions (multitasking, mental speed) decreasing the time for task actions (but would like them to be -10% per additional complex action, to put it in line with the teamwork/rushing the job rules).

Well, regarding the problems with the strength rules, perhaps there should be a trait made for that? My suggestion: Exceptional Strength (Morph only) Cost: 5 cp or 10 cp This morph is fit and exceptionally strong. The morph in question can lift and hold heavy objects that weaker morphs could not. With this trait at level 1, the morph can comfortably lift, hold, and carry about 80 kg for long periods of time. It may also, with significant effort, lift about 160 kg, but holding that much for long requires a SOM x 3 test each turn. At level 2, it may comfortably lift 160 kg for long periods of time, and lift up to 320 kg for short periods of time. These numbers assume the morph is an exceptionally fit flat, with no augmentations. As such, a morph that might be stronger or weaker than a flat is going to get different numbers. I put this trait together after thinking about it for 10 minutes. As such, feel free to comment or criticize.

Okay, now that Dance with the Devil is out, on to critiquing this draft. I am going to start at the start and go through it one section at a time: [b]New backgrounds[/b] The third sentence of this section should probably start "These backgrounds" for clarity. [b]Ape Uplift:[/b] Lets start with the name. This background should almost certainly be renamed 'Gorilla Uplift'. The apes are orangutans, gorillas, chimpanzees, bonobos, and humans. However, "The gibbon was never a candidate for uplift due to a brain anatomy considerably more primitive than great apes" (panopticon, p. 142) and humans, bonobos, and chimps have their own background traits. This means that this background should be for either gorillas or orangutans. However, the advantages are clearly not for orangutans (they lack a climbing bonus for one thing). Therefore, this background only describes gorillas and it should be named such. Now on to the first sentence of the description: The sentence has a grammatical error: it contains a phrase indicating a degree ('more difficulty') but fails to give a reference point for that degree. They have more difficulty integrating with transhumanity than what? You probably need to correct this by adding a phrase such as 'than other ape uplifts'. Secondly the uplift process occurred in the past not the present, thus the phrase 'process of uplift' should be 'uplift process' and "does little" should be "did little". Further apes probably don't have more 'social competitiveness and urge for dominance' than normal humans (who are also apes) so why this is a big problem for them is unclear. On to the second sentence: because of its odd structure this sentence isn't very clear (this may just be me). It seems to be trying saying that the uplifts drive to be in control of their social group and their environment conflicts with the restrictions habitats put on the uplifts. It then immediately contradicts itself by listing common professions in which the uplift does NOT have control of their social group (and sometimes their environment). For clarity this sentence should probably read something like: "Your drive to be in control of your social group and environment conflicts with the prejudices and restrictions of most habitats." Third sentence: 'the perceived "anti-social" tendency of apes' makes very little sense considering that apes are widely considered to be social creatures. Especially when looking at, say, the Bonobo Uplift background which actually lists 'Social Animal' as an advantage. Maybe apes should be changed to 'gorillas' (to go with the change in the name I have suggested above). Not that gorillas are anti-social at all when compared to the other apes or especially when compared to something like an octopus. This sentence also [b]directly contradicts[/b] the write ups of the other ape uplift backgrounds which indicate they are the most common uplifted species. You defiantly need to change this sentence, probably by substituting 'gorilla' for 'ape'. The advantages: the apes should not have the brave trait (you even gave bonobos the timid trait later!) even if you meant 'gorillas' instead of 'apes' they probably shouldn't have the brave trait (despite their reputation gorillas are quite shy) though it does make a lot more sense, they do have an (undeserved) reputation for being aggressive. The disadvantages: Social Stigma (Uplift) should have the word 'trait' after it. [b]Bonobo Uplift[/b] Disadvantages: Bonobo's should not have the timid trait (peaceful =/= timid). They are also missing the social stigma (uplift) trait: consider that uplifted neanderthals get this trait as does the regular uplift background (also consider the regular uplift background and the sentence "The Uplift background from the core book (p. 132, EP) can be used for any uplift that has been active in transhuman society for some time and has had more opportunity to adapt to their position in broader transhuman culture" found in the New background section and the conflict this creates with Bonobo's not having the Social Stigma (Uplift) trait). [b]Cetacen Uplift[/b] The second sentence: "playing tracks and games" should probably be "playing tricks and games". Third sentence: "you can call home, if you want" shouldn't have the comma. [b]Chimp Uplift[/b] The first sentence [b]directly contradicts[/b] the ape uplift description (ape uplift should probably be renamed Gorilla Uplift, see above). Disadvantages: Chimp uplifts should have the Social Stigma (Uplift) trait for the same reason as Bonobo's. Also because "your life is still limited by laws and prejudice throughout the system" is found in the description. [b]Emergent AGI[/b] First sentence: "you may have emerged into full intelligence." seems very wishy-washy, especially compared to the second sentence which assumes that you did emerge into full intelligence on your own (as indicated by the ',however'). I recommend changing this to "you emerged into full..." Second sentence: "your friendly and conductive" should be "you friendly and conductive" Advantages and Disadvantage: Both the Emotive Blindness and Poorly Socialized traits are overpriced at -10 each (I will explain why later when I get around to the traits, though in the case of Emotive Blindness you should be able to tell just by looking at it). Assuming that at -5 each they would be more acceptable, then this background has +95 points worth of advantages (!) and -50 points of disadvantages for a net of 45 when compared with a net of approximately +40 most other backgrounds have. Also: I don't like that this uses 'or Eidolon' which makes it seems like you should use those optional rules (presented in a separate section) when using this background. It should probably be removed (and Edilon listed as a type of informorph in later sections) or clearly listed as a separate optional rule. [b]Feral Uplift[/b] The advantages: First of all this has the heightened instinct trait, however being more feral than normal should help you do things like diffuse bombs or hack (which is more a problem with heightened instinct than the Feral Uplift background). Second it should not have a +1 to moxie because animals do not have moxie and being closer to the animal thus should not increase moxie. Disadvantages: This is another one with the overpriced poorly socialized trait (I am beginning to think maybe I should have started with the traits section :( ) [b]Humanities Infolife[/b] First Sentence: "the neruoprogrammers" lacks antecedent basis. It should probably "your neuroprogrammers". Disadvantages: Social stigma (AGI) is missing the word trait. Common Morphs: Basic Pod (which hopefully you guys are going to do a major overhaul of because I looked at it and it was horrible) and Specialist Pod (ditto) should probably have a page number reference or something indicating it is in this book and not the main book or (preferably) left off entirely so as to not seem to require optional rules from other sections. [b]Indenture[/b] Second Sentence: this sentence reads weirdly to me (it may just be me), I think it is the "as" and the commas which lead to a perceived conflict in tense with the first sentence. I would try something like: "Whether you were a survivor who lost everything or an infugee who ended up in cold storage, you came away with nothing. Your recent ..." [b]Machine Infolife[/b] Disadvantages: Social stigma (AGI) is missing the word trait. Also poorly socialized should only by a -5 disadvantage leading this to be +5 points 'overpowered'. Common Morphs: Specialist Pod should probably have a page number reference or something indicating it is in this book and not the main book or (preferably) left off entirely so as to not seem to require optional rules from other sections. [b]Maker Nomad[/b] Third sentence: This sentence makes it seem like the Sufi Nomads are no longer allies. Maybe rewrite in the present tense? Fourth sentence: This sentence makes it seem like the "sparsely settled desert of northern Mars" is the "harshest of climes", which is not true (compare say to the surface of Mercury or Venus!). [b]Neanderthal Uplift[/b] Advantages: Am I missing something? Why do they have "+20 Art: Music?" [b]Octopus Uplift[/b] Second sentence: "you think and live at one remove from transhuman..." reads very awkwardly, consider rephrasing. [b]Pig Uplift[/b] Advantages: why in the world do pigs have the Eidetic Memory trait? [b]Research Infolife[/b] Disadvantages: Social Stigma AGI is missing the word trait. Common Morphs: page number or omit specialist pod reference.

[b]Positive Traits[/b] [b]AGI Affinity[/b] Second sentence: there is some ambiguity in this sentence: does the trait apply to AGIs WITHOUT the Real World Naivete trait? [b]AGI Socialization[/b] Second sentence: "The character has studied transhumanity extensively and can..." what exactly if anything is stopping non-AGIs from doing the exact same thing. Also, this is just describing the raising of the Kinesics skill using the skill system! If you must keep this I would change it as follows: "5 CP. Only characters with the Infolife background may take this trait. You are better at interpreting transhuman social cues than other AGIs. Increasing the kinesics skill with Customization Points is done at regular price." [b]Async Familiarity[/b] Why is this async only? Why can't normal transhumans learn to look for "the subtle behavioral clues and micro-expressions that many asncs unconsciously adopt after their infection". Also what happens when an async creates a fork (such as a delta fork)? Do they lose this trait? Why? it doesn't actually have anything to do with the psi trait. If they don't what's stopping regular AIs (which delta forks are) from having it as well? And if a regular AI can have it why can't a regular transhuman? Nothing about this trait makes any sense. I highly recommend either a total rewrite of this trait or getting rid of it altogether (keep in mind that, if they are close enough, an async can tell if another person is an async by using a psi-gamma sleight such as thought browse). [b]Digital Ghost[/b] Digital Ghost: I really dislike this one for two reasons: 1) the reduction of failure is the domain of MOXIE and should IMHO remain in the domain of MOXIE and 2) it uses the once a game session mechanic that I dislike: people who play more, shorter games characters get to be better hackers? If you must keep it at least change it to something like once per system. [b]Drug Exception[/b] Last sentence: The last sentence should clearly state that the penalties are only halved for the specific drug selected. [b]Enlarged Size[/b] Second sentence: "Small trait" should be "Small Size trait" Third sentence: "Large trait" should be "Large Size trait" Also: the bonuses for enlarged size are to big. Compare: Enlarged Neotenic (40) vs. Exalt (35) Enlarged Hypergibbon (35) vs. Neo-Hominid (30) Enlarged Spare (25) vs. Case (20) Enlarged Dolphin (50) vs. neo-orca (40) Based on the numbers above, halving the current bonuses (+5 small to medium, +10 medium to large) should work about right. Keep in mind that an enlarged smaller morph should generally be inferior at its new size to a morph designed to operate at that size. Also some morphs have penalties to maximum SOM (presumably based on size). This should probably be addressed. [b]Established Fork[/b] Second sentence: To prevent shenanigans the psychosurgical alterations available for free should clearly be limited to those not giving the characters traits (or equivalent) with positive or negative CP costs. Last sentence: "forks' " should probably be "fork's " since it is only talking about one. [b]Hardening[/b] I like this, but since it inflicts a penalty the CP price is too high. 5 CP is plenty. Also it should reference the hardening rules in the corebook and make it clear that this trait is a method to gain hardening at chargen, not a separate hardening system. [b]Heightened Instinct[/b] Last sentence: the +1 bonus to init is fine, however the second part makes no sense: how would, for example, bird instincts help in diffusing a bomb while distracted by blaring sirens? Shouldn't it make diffusing the bomb more difficult as the character has to fight their instinct to run away from loud noises and focus on disarming the bomb? Have I gone mad? Am I the only one that sees this? [b]Intuitive Cracker[/b] This is... I don't know how to describe this. Did you forget about the Rush the Job (p. 117) and task action timeframe reduction based on MoS rules? Do they not work with this? What happens at 0%? What if you get a negative percent? Last sentence: "Speed and extra actions may also reduce the timeframe" it should be made clear that these are optional rules (as I pointed out above the main rulebook assumes that speed, at least, does NOT increase the base timeframe). [b]Murder Simulator Addict[/b] First of all the name, 'addict' implies that this is a negative trait. Also there are two other addiction traits already (addiction and mental disorder (addiction)) which are both negative traits. Second: "Thousands of hours spent in various simulspace games have sharpened the character's aim and reflexes--or they've simply spent an inordinate amount of time at the range practicing headshots." This is the definition of a [b]SKILL SPECIALTY![/b] They PRACTICED a skill to get good at an certain aspect of the skill. That is a [b]SKILL SPECIALTY[/b]. One more time for emphasis: that is a [b]SKILL SPECIALTY![/b]. Thirdly: Head shots do not have any additional effect in the system. So this trait is useless. This might make an interesting negative trait however. Something like: "Bonus: 5 CP, You learned to shoot from simulspace games that placed an inordinate emphasis on headshots. Whenever you make a ranged attack you must call a shot to hit the head. This attack suffers the usual penalty for attacking a specific target (see p. 197, EP)." [b]Personal Connection[/b] Needs to clarify that it does not stack with the tenure trait. [b]Potent Mind (Asyncs Only)[/b] 10 CP is way to expensive for amplifying a single, rarely used sleight. 5 CP is more reasonable. [b]Predator[/b] First sentence: "is most common in those from great ape". Great Apes are not predators (like humans they are vegetarians/omnivores), especially not ambush predators like this trait implies they are. [b]Social Animal[/b] This should probably have an exception for things like: helplessly watching the family/close associates die, watching them being tortured, being forced to watch yourself kill them by a sadistic hacker that has jacked your puppetsock, etc. [b]Trauma Tolerance[/b] There are multiple things wrong with this: 1) It needs to specify when and if you get to choose not to take the penalty (since taking the penalty leads to problems later on). 2) It needs to specify whether it affects the init penalties and the disorientation from taking a trauma. 3) It needs to specify how it affects derangements when taking more than the trauma tolerance compensates for. Example: you have a Trauma Tolerance (Lv. 2) and take a third trauma? Do you take a major derangement (as normal) or is it only a minor derangement? 4) Disorders are inflicted when a character accumulates 4 traumas (p. 211) so the meaning of the last sentence is unclear: is this a new rule? A suggestion to the gamemaster? Does the returned disorder count as multiple traumas? Or do you just not take a disorder when you are supposed to? Okay, going through what I just typed, I made like a billion typos and my grammar was even more atrocious than usual. Obviously, I am too tired to continue this today. I will pick it up again tomorrow.

[b]Neutral Traits[/b] [b]Large Size[/b] Large size is missing the "Bonus/Cost: 0 CP" line. Third sentence: delete ",however," or move it to the front of the sentence (However is not needed since you are not saying 'in spite of that' but are listing additional modifications). [b]Non-Human Biochemistry[/b] This trait is missing the "Bonus/Cost: 0 CP" line. First sentence: "... substantially different" you need to add what they are substantially different from. Third sentence: This sentence uses ",like transhumans," however non-human morphs may still be transhumans (assuming that substantially different in the first sentence was meant to refer to humans). Last couple of sentences: "non-mammalian" is used in a couple of places instead of "non-human". [b]Non-Mammalian Biochemistry[/b] This trait is missing the "Bonus/Cost: 0 CP" line. Second sentence: "The state of transhuman medicine is often not quite as advanced as it is for humans" uses the word transhuman incorrectly: things with non-mammalian biochemistry are not transhumans (see the very next sentence). [b]Playful Predator[/b] First sentence: "with the exception of neo-pigs and neo-neanderthals" should have a lot more exceptions. Most of the uplifted animals described so far do not play with their prey (most just kill and eat them or are primarily herbivores). In fact playing with prey is a pretty rare trait in most animals. [b]Small Size[/b] This trait is missing the "Bonus/Cost: 0 CP" line. Third sentence: again ',however,' is not needed. Additionally, the sentence shifts tense halfway through and uses targets when it means opponents. Change the sentence to: "Standard-sized opponents have a reach advantage against the character, and Large-sized opponents have double the standard reach advantage." [b]Expanding on Durability, Size, and Strength[/b] Throughout this section or in the heading for it, you should clarify that you mean maximum durability, not current durability. [b]Lifting and Carrying[/b] The section seems to have bad values for weights lifted and carried. I think someone already mentioned this so I won't go into it again. And that's it. I did speed above and the rest are optional rules that I really don't care about.

RobBoyle wrote:

Here's an actual layout PDF proof for this chapter. I've updated the link in the first message as well.

After having a quick looksie, I assume that that is primarily just a layout update, rather than having any of the suggestions/proof notes from this thread applied?